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Dharun Ravi doesn't look like a thug. In a thorough interview shown by 20/20, the ABC TV news program, on March 23, he talked in a soft and remorseful tone. Yet the former Rutgers University student is broadly considered the new face of bullying.He had been convicted a week earlier of hate crimes and invasion of privacy for pointing his computer camera at the bed of Tyler Clementi, his gay roommate, and spying on the intimacy between him and an older man shortly after they became freshmen at the university in September 2010. He was alleged to have tried to get other students to watch. Clementi committed suicide a few days after the encounter, though it is still not clearly known why. Ravi could be sentenced to five to 10 years in prison in May and may also face deportation to his home country, India, although he has vowed to appeal.Given such a deadly casualty of cyberspace clashes, the case has put the entire nation on alert. An immediate effect is an increase in the number of anti-bullying programs on campuses. Related discussions are popular among educators and youth advocates. Many anti-bullying campaigns have been launched in schools. There are new lawsuits in which adults sue the bullies who picked on them decades ago. There are several new movies, such as Bully, that seek to get the anti-bullying message across. And legislators have been busy drafting or toughening anti-bullying laws too. In New Jersey, where Rutgers is based, such a law took effect last year. And in New York, a similar state law will be effective in July. All together, 48 states in the nation now have such laws in place. These laws give definitions of bullying and require teachers to take anti-bullying training and schools to be on top of investigating such incidents. Despite practical concerns, such as costs, these efforts are timely and necessary. But by focusing mainly on preventing bullying, they may have missed a major component of the problem-reducing the effectiveness. Ruben Brosbe, a New York public school teacher, once told the website gothamschools.org how his students reacted to an exercise put on by visiting performers as part of the citywide anti-bullying campaign. In the show, the bully wrote nasty words about a classmate on the board and the victim was in tears. When the students were asked what the victim should do, many suggested retaliation. And this made Brosbe wonder how much kids could be changed by such activities. The answer may be: Not much. This is not to say that education is powerless. But let's be honest: Kids are kids and sometimes they are destined to be naughty, mean, stupid and to make mistakes. And it may be possible to reduce bullying but it will never be eradicated from campuses. So in addition to telling them to treat others respectfully and kindly, kids must be taught how to be strong when they are not treated in the same way. Other than Rutgers' Clementi, teenage victims of bullying that have caught national headlines in recent years include Alexis Pilkington from Long Island, Sladjana Vidovic from Mentor, Ohio, Jamey Rodemeyer from Williamsville, New York, and Amanda Cummings from Staten Island, New York City. They were bullied for different reasons but they all committed suicide afterward. There is no doubt the victims deserve all the sympathy and the bullies should be punished. But kids may also have to learn a tough lesson: Quitting is simply not an option in life, no matter what has happened. Without this philosophy as a backbone, a bully-free campus, even if it was possible to build one,cheap air max, may do more harm than good to kids, because they have to face not only a cruel adolescence now but also a crueler adulthood in the near future. Outside the campus, bullying can exist in every possible way, only more vicious. Just look at what happened to Danny Chen, the Chinese American soldier who apparently committed suicide after being hazed by peers in Afghanistan last year, or the taxi driver who was allegedly stabbed by a Morgan Stanley banker who refused to pay an agreed fare, or those whose life savings were squandered by financial con-man Bernie Madoff. Without a tough shield formed at school, how does one survive in the real world? The author is a New York-based journalist.
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